If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
