I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
