I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
