it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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