The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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