Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
