drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
