I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize