I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
