it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
