I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
