I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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