I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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