I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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