Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
