so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
