I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
