his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
