Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
