some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
