You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
