I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
