So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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