I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
