i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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