you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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