I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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