she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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