question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
