what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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