Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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