He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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