There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
