Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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