We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
