i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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