He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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