Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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