omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
