he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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