Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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