Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
