I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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