i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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