I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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