White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
