i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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