i think my mom watched the whole time
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
