i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
