dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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