I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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