addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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