matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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