Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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